So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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