I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
North Korea, Best Korea!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
