Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
