oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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