im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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