I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
