Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
