Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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