They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
