Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
