im gay
i know
yea but for you.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize