yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize