I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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