It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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