She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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