Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
