Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
