so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
