he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
