There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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