Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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