i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
