I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
