Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We need to get me chipped asap
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
