That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
