sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
