when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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