no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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