i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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