The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
