This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
