So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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