is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
