last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So vagazzling was a success
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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