Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
