Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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