idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
