Im at strip club and am horny
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
