FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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