We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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