He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
