So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize