omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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