If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
