I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
