Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
