The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
