happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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