put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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