hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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