I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
