She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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