Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
