I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
