Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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