If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
