Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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