why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
