it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
