your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate all girls vehemently.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sorry my hands just texted you
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
