I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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