If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
we should paint friendship bongs
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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