I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
