i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
