I can't breathe out the right side of my face
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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