just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
As shirtless as possible
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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