Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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