You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
