Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
