i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
