It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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