hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
