i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
