I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
