hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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