What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
