In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
