tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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