i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
