I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
