I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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