once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think a kid would responsible me up
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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