i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize