and you said cock pushups were impossible
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Drunk is not a location!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
