its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
