you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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