He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
