Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
