Do you still have your period?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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